Pandemic Fairy Tales

Everything has been messed up by this stupid pandemic. School, work, entertainment, family gatherings, sports, you name it have all been cancelled or dramatically changed by Covid-19. Even the most popular stories of our past are different now. Check out the updated fairy tales that will be streaming soon on a TV near your living room: 

 CINDERELLA STAYS HOME: The prince can’t host a ball because social gatherings are forbidden, and no one could dance anyway due to social distancing.

 SNOW WHITE AND THE SIX DWARFS: Sneezy is quarantined by Doc’s orders. Snow is safe from the Queen because no one can tell “Who’s the fairest of them all” behind their masks.

 SLEEPING BEAUTY STAYS ASLEEP: The prince won’t kiss her because fatigue is a symptom of Covid-19.

 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST HAVE NO GUESTS: Tired of cooking three meals a day for Belle and Beast, Mrs. Potts downloads the GrubHub app.

 THE LITTLE MERMAID STAYS UNDER THE SEA: Safe in the ocean away from humans, Arielle refuses to grow legs.

 LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD DOESN’T VISIT GRANDMA: Because Grannie’s advanced age makes her vulnerable, Red just leaves a basket of snacks on the porch and skips away.

 

 Final thoughts: Remember that this virus nonsense will go away. We will not have to wear ugly masks for every important event of our lives forever. Soon we’ll be able to sit way too close to thousands of complete strangers at a hockey game again. We can wait in line for a restaurant table for upwards of two hours someday. Grandmas will open the door for their grandkids. Until then, be safe, my friends. And think about what a long, boring, completely unrelateable story this will be when you inflict it on your children/grandchildren/random kid next to you on the bus someday.

Cinder: The Book Review

Lately I’ve been obsessed with reading Young Adult fantasy novels. This genre has a special place in my heart because the first novel I ever published was a YA fantasy story called Stones of Abraxas. Now I’m about to release another YA fantasy story called Bigfoot CSI which (spoiler alert) is about Bigfoot. I’m enjoying the YA novels that I’ve been reading, so it seemed like an ideal time to write some reviews of these excellent books.

Cinder is the first book in a four-volume YA science fiction/fantasy series by Marissa Meyer. The series is  loosely based on the fairy tales Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and Snow White. This is an engaging series that focuses on the exploits of a 16-year-old cyborg girl (i.e. she’s human but has some metal body parts) living in a futuristic version of China. Or maybe it’s Japan. It’s hard to tell because the world is very different in this future where there are only six countries which all live in peace after they signed treaties to end the wars that decimated the world as we know it today.

Through an unlikely series of events, Cinder the cyborg girl meets and falls for the handsome young prince, who is being pursued for a marriage alliance by the evil (and much older) queen of Luna (i.e. Earth’s Moon). Did I mention there are people living on the moon in this version of reality? The Lunars, as they’re called, have developed mind control abilities that allow them to manipulate the weak-minded (including all humans living on Earth) into doing their bidding.

In addition to the evil queen, there’s also an evil stepmother, an evil stepsister, and a kind stepsister. And there’s a dreadful plague that’s killing off humans by the thousands. Cinder’s only real trusted friend is an android who seems to have more humanity than any actual human we meet in this story.

Cinder’s life is pretty crummy, and she’s eager to escape. But if she escaped, that wouldn’t make a compelling tale, so instead she has to stick around and try to solve her problems. And, boy, does she discover that she has problems! Big, ugly, Luna-sized, cyborg, traitor-to-the-crown problems. And the prince she’s crushing on doesn’t help matters. In fact, his poor judgement and absurd decision-making skills only exacerbate her long list of challenges.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and was eager to dive into Book #2 (Scarlet). It was disappointing that Cinder’s love interest was basically a useless pretty boy, but as a 16-year-old girl, Cinder can hardly be expected to withstand the charms of a rich, powerful, handsome guy who is clearly smitten with her.

This novel draws readers into a new and intriguing world as it sets the stage for the remaining books in the series. You’ll find yourself cheering for Cinder and reaching for Book #2 when you turn the last page.