Dangerous Little Cats

My house is overrun by rescued cats because 1) I'm a sucker for cute, cuddly creatures and 2) there are too many homeless cats that somehow find their way to my house and, as previously mentioned, I'm a sucker for cute, cuddly creatures. Anyway, you'd think an animal that weighs only ten pounds wouldn't be too dangerous to have around, even if that animal is a carnivore with sharp claws and pointed teeth. I found out otherwise the other day.

Every morning I do a little five-minute yoga routine that's loosely based on the "Sun Salutation" (for those familiar with yoga). The last pose involves standing on one foot while the other leg is lifted and bent. No problem; I've done it a million times.

One day last week, my cat Jem decided to try his paw at yoga. Unbeknownst to me, was sitting on the floor under my bent leg during the pose. When I was done, I put my foot down, expecting to find a solid floor, but instead found Jem. He wasn't happy about having me suddenly standing on top of him. He took off, and my foot went along for the ride. Next thing I knew, my legs had done the splits, and I was on the floor. Unfortunately, I'm not limber enough to do the splits.

You know that second after you realize you've injured yourself, but before the pain kicks in? That anticipation is the worst. In this case, the anticipation didn't last long because my legs started hurting quickly, but I knew it would be even more painful in a couple days. As I've gotten older, it takes longer and longer for the pain to truly settle in after I hurt myself. By now, it's up to about three days of lead time.

Sure enough, three days after the cat yoga incident, I was hobbling around the house, not sure which leg hurt more, so unsure which one to limp on. My greatest fear is that this time, the worst of the injury won't manifest until four or even five days later. If it gets too much worse, I'll have to check into a hospital and ask them to put me in traction.

Meanwhile, the cat who caused all this trouble is in perfect shape; no ill effects for him. Someday, in a decade or two, when I'm in any condition to do yoga again, the cats will have to be locked out of my room. I'm clearly too old to combine exercise with cat rescue.