Bigfoot Reading List

I’ve been reading a lot about Bigfoot lately. My novel BIGFOOT CSI will be coming out this spring, and I’m busy doing final edits on the manuscript and trying to get the word out there in social media. In the process of doing these things, I’ve run across some excellent books about people’s encounters with not only Bigfoot but also a wide variety of other cryptids. 

Did you know there’s something called Black Eyed Children? Apparently these troublesome urchins show up at people’s doors wearing old fashioned clothes and ask to come in. They all have big black eyes with no whites in them. They insist that if you let them in, “it” won’t take long. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. This is precisely why I never open my door. I’m hoping Amazon’s drone technology will soon be able to drop supplies down my chimney because I’m running low on bourbon.

Speaking of cryptozoology books, author Tom Lyons gave me a copy of his book LIVING AMONG BIGFOOT: FIRST CONTACT. As the title suggests, it’s about the author’s alarming encounters with a mysterious creature when he moved to California. I eagerly turned the pages of this book. Part of it focuses on the author’s efforts to settle into a new home in a new state, while part of it details experiences that most new homeowners are never subjected to. Granted, most homeowners would prefer to wrestle an angry Sasquatch than deal with the cable company, but having to do both just adds insult to injury.

This book picked up on a couple angles that emerge from some of the other fascinating Bigfoot accounts I’ve been reading. For one thing, in some books, the creatures are more human-like in that they walk upright. In other stories, the creatures are more dog-like and have a preference for walking on all fours. These latter creatures are sometimes called Dogmen for obvious reasons. You’ll have to read LIVING AMONG BIGFOOT to see which kind the author saw.

Another thing I find intriguing about the Bigfoot literature is that there’s a touch of magic surrounding the creatures. By magic, I don’t mean wands or spells, but the ability to move more quickly than any normal creature and evade capture either on film or through traps. Some Native American stories suggest that Bigfoot lives partly in this world and partly in a spirit world.

These are the kinds of things I’ve been working on lately, and it’s terrific! Creepy, interesting, mysterious, and overall fun. Thanks to Tom Lyons for sharing his book with me!

Random Complaints about the Olympics

I’m in a mood to complaint today, so this blog will be a collection of minor annoyances about the Olympics. Feel free to add your own complaints in the comments section. You know you have plenty of them. Just keep it clean; your grandmother reads this blog.

1. I feel sad for that poor French ice dancer who had a serious wardrobe malfunction on live, international television last night. Sure, it’s the kind of horrible luck that could afflict anyone, but there are some precautions you can take to avoid stuff like this. Particularly, don’t choose an outfit that uses only one small snap behind your neck to protect your assets from exposure to the whole wide world. It’s hard to believe that the costume designer didn’t learn that lesson on Day One of costume design school. Always have redundant systems to protect those assets! How about two or even three snaps? A zipper? Maybe adhesive cups under the costume in case something goes horribly awry?2. Since when do they have skiers in the halfpipe? Is this new, or have I just been missing it all these years? It looks weird because I’m so used to the snowboarding. Which is harder? Who knows/ I’ve never been able to work up the courage to even get on a ski lift, let alone take it to the top of a mountain and somehow get off to slide down. The tow rope on the bunny hill taxed my limited skills.

3. Russian athletes are competing under the Olympic flag instead of the Russian flag because apparently some of them had tested positive for doping.. Many Russian athletes were still allowed to compete, because they had not tested positive for drugs. Today it was reported that one of the Russian curling athletes who’s still in the Games tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Curling!?! Their sport consists of sweeping while gliding at low speeds. Who needs steroids to do that? At this point, it seems like the Russians aren’t even interested in achieving anything—they’re just curious what they can get away with.

4. The winter landscapes in South Korea are beautiful, but it makes me cold to look at them. After spending years trying to survive the frigid, windy wasteland of Chicago winters, just the sight of an ice cube tray can give me goose bumps. Winter sports would be much more pleasant if they happened during the summer.

5. Some of these sports are ridiculously dangerous, and it makes me wonder what the point is. During the women’s slalom, for instance, every single skier who came down the mountain did so while the commentators listed the athlete’s serious recent injuries. Just now, a halfpipe ski woman limped off the course after crashing on her last trick. I thought exercise was supposed to be good for you, but certainly not if you’re an Olympic skier. Or the luge. Don’t even get me started on the luge.

Less than one week to go until Olympics 2018 is nothing but a collection of statistics to be largely forgotten until commentators bring them up during the next Olympic Games. Enjoy!

Lessons from the 2018 Winter Olympics

It’s Olympics time again! I’m not an athlete by any definition of the word, yet I’m enthralled by the Olympics for some reason. For that reason, nothing will be accomplished at my house while there’s the possibility of watching Shaun White slide around a halfpipe. It’s better to just admit it and enjoy the ride. I’ve learned a few things since Thursday when I started watching the Olympics nonstop:

1. Bling is appropriate attire for all figure skaters—both male and female—as well as commentators and spectators for figure skating events.

2. Female athletes in practically all other sports have long hair that hangs out the back of their big knit ski caps with pompons on top. Under those hats, you’ve got some serious cases of hat-head.

3. Even if you nearly died in pursuit of excellence in your sport, that doesn’t give you an excuse to quit and get a less hazardous job. One year after being in a medically induced coma, you must be back on the ice, slopes, etc. and you will be called “brave” or “heroic” because of your lack of concern for your own personal safety.

4. Age 25 is old. Age 30 is ancient. Anyone over 35 in the Olympic Village must be either an athlete’s mom or Katie Couric. 

5. Many of these sports are nothing more than elaborate practical jokes. Curling comes to mind. Other “sports” like the luge, started when a couple of bored Scandinavians were looking for something to do during their 15-month-long winter. One guy said, “Here, hold my beer.” Next thing you know, Sven is sliding down a mountain on a piece of wood duct-taped to a couple skates. Since Sven was unlikely to survive, Lars got to drink his beer.

6. You don’t have to be from a country in order to represent that nation in the Olympics. It’s unclear why. That seems like the basic point of this entire exercise, yet plenty of people are representing countries that they have never even travelled to. Seriously. They don’t speak the language and couldn’t identify that nation’s capital. Yet, there they are, skating (or luging or skiing, etc.) their hearts out for the fine people of ___­____ (insert random country name here).

7. Most of this is pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things. None of these athletes are doing anything that’s particularly beneficial to humanity or our planet. Is it important to know how fast an 18-year-old can ski a course of bumps and jumps? Not really. It won’t cure cancer or eliminate hunger or fix global warming. It’s nice that people from nations around the world can get together and live in one little village for a few weeks without killing each other, but keep in mind that they’re all locked in serious competition with one another the whole time. It’s not like they’re all there for a drum circle or something.

It's time to get back to my TV. At any moment, Shaun White might find himself on the side of a snow-covered mountain, and I'm going to see every moment of it.

Full to Bursting

Moving to a new city is hard. Moving to a new city when you’re a kid and it’s the middle of the school year can seem impossible. That’s what’s happening to seventh grader John Regan in the new novel Full to Bursting, coming next week from Kissing Frog Books. He doesn’t want to move, but since his dad is being transferred for work, he doesn’t have much choice. He’s convinced he’ll be as lowly as an earthworm crawling along on his belly through the hallways of the new school.

I wrote this book a few years ago and originally published it under a different title. To put it mildly, it didn’t exactly set the world on fire. That said, my husband insists it’s his favorite story I’ve ever written. Then I found a book cover that suited it perfectly, and I decided it was time to give it a fresh start. It’s funny and optimistic and doesn’t have any monsters in it at all. I hope lots of people read it and enjoy it. If you do, could you please post a review on Amazon or somewhere? As a big thank you, I’ll be posting a discount coupon on Smashwords when Full to Bursting is released.

Thank you and happy reading!