Saturday, February 16, 2013


What we're worrying about today: Cruises!

So you're trying to not think about the myriad threats to your health and safety that surround you daily, so you book a nice, relaxing cruise ship vacation. And the next thing you know, you're wading through rivers of raw sewage. That's what happened to the 4000 passengers and crew aboard the cruise ship Triumph this week following a fire that knocked out the ship's power. Incidentally, the threat of fire aboard ship isn't the first danger that springs to my mind when I think about an ocean cruise. After all, you're surrounded by water. Do I worry about falling overboard? Of course. Sinking from hitting an iceberg? Naturally. Pirates? Sure. But not a fire. It just goes to show that the stuff you least expect is probably what'll get you.
Anyway, the lack of power left the massive ship drifting in the ocean, miles from land and apparently with no means of pumping poop through the plumbing system. It's unclear why that resulted in sewage running down the walls and through the halls, but that's what happened. With the toilets out of commission, passengers and crew were left sharing plastic garbage bags when they needed to go to the bathroom. Talk about a horror that even my anxious imagination never anticipated.

If you've ever watched the movies Poseidon Adventure or Titanic, you're already aware that horrifying things can happen to you on the open sea. Not the least of which is having to see Kate Winslet naked. But even those disaster movies don't prepare you for rivers of excrement on the shuffleboard court. This incident is definitely a learning experience. From now on, we'll all bring our own supply of plastic bags with us wherever we go.

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