Wednesday, April 24, 2013


Say you're at the circus, enjoying the show, when you decide it's time to hit the bathroom. You walk into the restroom and find yourself looking into the face of a real, live tiger. That's exactly what happened to a Kansas woman recently.
This incident has made me evaluate how I can make my own trips to the bathroom safer. After all, who knows when you'll step into the restroom (or your classroom or a parking garage, etc.) to find a tiger (or bear or zombie, etc.). So from now on, I will always carry a five-pound beef roast with me wherever I go. Before I step into any room, I crack the door open first and chuck in the meat. That way, if there's a hungry carnivore waiting on the other side, he/she/it will be distracted when I enter the room. It seems like a wise precaution, now that we're living in a world where tigers can be lurking in any bathroom.
Be safe out there!

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